Entered on 17 April 2003: a list of Appleton's comic postings on Holysmoke (the predecessor to the modern internet) kindly provided by and reproduced with the permission of Fredric L. Rice.
"I will grant you one thing however. The intelligent designer seemed to get something wrong when He made it possible for people to think that they 'came from monkeys'! "
"There is very little to teach anyone about 'Plate-techtonics' really, since it is 99.99% speculation and hypothesis, even if this fact is obscured by the way this is put across."
"You are an offensive clown, who does not seem to know what he is talking about! Aren't you the miserable peanut that has snapped a whole of life BAN on me from several atheist echoes?" - Laurie Appleton (to Fredric Rice.)
"Darwin was a vigorous, healthy, almost happy-go-lucky young man BEFORE he was converted to evolutionism, but a sickly body and troubled mind all his life thereafter! (Morris)"
"Here is something from Immanuel Velikovsky;"
"The intelligent designer seemed to get something wrong when He made made it possible for people to think that they 'came from 'monkeys'!"
"Hoyle could not POSSIBLY have gone into great detail about how fusion works, since it is only a hypothesis."
"Go out and get Dr. Lehninger's Biochemistry Text. Learn something for a change." - Dr. Martin Goldberg
"If I did as you suggest however, then I would probably be just as brainwashed and confused as you seem to be already!" - Laurie Appleton
"Nobody ever said that the flood was caused by rainfall, even if it was supposed to rain for forty days and forty nights."
"Well you are well and truly indoctrinated in the old germ theory aren't you?"
"Unnatural means highly processed drinks - even homoginized and pasturized milk."
"I hate to break the news to you, but there are also living things at higher latitudes." - Curtis Johnson
"Don't tell me you believe in UFOs or some such things?" - Laurie Appleton
"The accuracy of radiometric dating is not really critically dependent of the rate of decay of radioactive substances at all, anyway."
"What does 'Creation ex nihilo' mean, Laurie? Bear in mind your repeated claim that 'nothing comes from nothing.' " - JD
"It means that unless you have God in the picture you are completely stuck!" - Laurie Appleton
"I fail to see how this could account for a several thousand meter thick limestone strata in 4000 years. Can you give me more details?" - MS
"This is the substance of what we call plagues of mice, or of locusts or other things." - Laurie Appleton
"What _does_ make those vanes, black on one side and silver on the other, spin around under a light, eh" - Jan Deboer
"Isn't it because the black colour absords light and thus is attracted to the light?" - Laurie Appleton
"So this is the sort of idiocy you want taught in schools as `balanced treatment' science, huh?" - Patrick Ford
"Dunno. Drill down, and see how far you get before you melt." - Per Edman (I think)
"They have tried that in Russia, as I understand it, and they did NOT find that! Although it has been claimed that the drilling tool suddently broke through in some empty cavern and loud screaming and wailing noises were heard. Some thought HELL must be down there!" - Laurie Appleton
"Is Dr. Gish a reliable source of information?" - David Flechard
"Very much so! Why do you ask?" - Laurie Appleton
"You're as stupid as ever." - Alec Grynspan
"At least one of us is!" - Laurie Appleton
"So tell us the REASON for the creation of dinosaurs?" - DC
"Seems like they would have been most useful in keeping the herbage of the world under control as well as being useful to mankind as a very versatile heavy equipment machine!" - Laurie Appleton
"However the inability to interbreed does not necessarily mean that two animals are different species when they are clearly alike."
"What I find more difficult to follow is claim that the whole universe is also revolving as well, since there is, by definition, no reference point OUTSIDE of the Universe by which to observe such a rotation."
"For example Mammoths are just a form of Elephant or perhaps I should say that Elephants are just a variation of Mammonths!"
"It is evolutionism that destroys a country and so long as the population is denied Balanced Treatment by the activities of the evolutionist, then it is already well and truly on the way to the sort of collapse which you are talking about!"
"Don't be silly, Ceppa. You don't learn anything in a University."
Entered on 21 October 2006: a list of Appleton's comic postings on the mailing list debunkingevolutionism, kindly provided by Shalini of DebunkCreation.
"The habit of quoting (and providing references for the quotes) is the only way to have a debate anyway!"
Shalini: "How could he see ALL the kingdoms of the earth from a mountain if the earth was a sphere? It would have to be flat."
LA: "Modern TV does that all the time, so that we know that it is possible!"
Shalini: "How did the marsupials reach Australia?"
LA: "Probably they walked much of the way. Certainly those from the Ark would NOT be expected to "hop" all the way. The evidence is consistent with Australia being the one place where they have not so far become extinct."
Shalini: "So it's 'love me or spend eternity in hell'?"
LA: "Totally wrong. It is ONLY those who love God who will have ANY future at all! All atheists are supposedly fully persuaded that they have NO future anyway, and so they will also get at the very least their expected end! Given the possibility that atheists get MORE than they "bargained for" then they should be "happy" anyway to be separated from the Christians that they so despise, and satisfied also to be with fellow atheists with whose company they currently prefer. No doubt it would be a real "hell hole" for an atheist, to be in a situation where there was nobody that they could detest, sneer at, persecute, torture and kill!! Perhaps the worst part of such a Hell is that it will be impossible for its inhabitants to enjoy their favourite past times, as above, since they may not even be able to "kill" themselves!"
LA: "Even the current rate of EROSION of the earth's continents (complete with all its fossils) to sea level would not need more than perhaps 15 million years and that reduces all age considerations to as low as ONE THIRD of one percent of the present evolutionary figure!
Shalini: "The continents do not erode and disappear. Erosion is simply a displacement mechanism. Try not to sound too stupid, will you?
LA: "Of course the continents do NOT simply "erode and disappear" because they have not been in existence long enough to do so!"